Journalists were understandably concerned by how Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola arrived for the post-match interview following his team’s 3-3 with Feyenoord in a 2024-25 UEFA Champions League clash played at the Etihad Stadium in Manchester on Tuesday night.
While it was not really what happened, the 53-year old Spaniard looked like he was coming from a fight with a cat but in actual fact, the scratches on his face, with a nasty cut on the bridge of his nose, were self-inflicted injuries.
The sight of Guardiola face-palming himself in dismay and frustration at his players’ failures to stick to his game plan is quite familiar. We have seen it so many times and such images have always made for good meme content whenever we want to express our anguish at situations we do not find pleasant.
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However, after Manchester City blowing a 3-0 lead against Feyenoord hence stretching the English club’s winless streak to six matches, it has become apparently clear that Guardiola is becoming a danger to himself as he endures the worst run of results in his managerial career.
Guardiola, in response to questions about the scratches on his face, in typical self-deprecating fashion, even jokingly admitted that he needs to be saved from himself. “I want to harm myself,” he said with a chortle.
Pep Guardiola and Manchester City face daunting trip to Anfield
The draw against Feyenoord prevented a sixth consecutive defeat for Guardiola and Manchester City but with a trip to Anfield to play a high-flying Liverpool team on Sunday, there is growing concern that Guardiola will make bandages and elastoplasts a scarce commodity should his team’s tribulations persist on Sunday.
Guardiola may just leave Anfield looking like an Egyptian mummy and with him having sent a subtle cry for help; the football fraternity should come to his rescue by ensuring he does not harm himself as Arne Slot’s side run rings around his boys.
Remedies to Pep Guardiola not harming himself
As it did in response to Luis Suarez’s psychological order which predisposed him to biting people, the football world should move him quickly and assist Pep Guardiola tame a destructive behaviour.
While he has not committed any crime, for his safety, Guardiola should stand on the touchline at Anfield with his hands handcuffed behind his back. In as much as that would affect his mobility, it would sure save him from landing violent facepalms on his face.
Should that not fly as an option, then a date with a manicurist should help reduce damage on Sunday as it is clear that Guardiola needs to cut his fingernails. An appointment with a nail cutter will surely facilitate a disarmament exercise that ensures he does not dig his face as Liverpool tears his team apart.
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However, assuming that Guardiola is not open to having a manicure, then him wearing gloves should work as an alternative solution only if he commits to keep them on.
If these solutions seem extreme at ensuring Guardiola’s safety moving forward, then proposing that he wears a balaclava, a headgear that will only expose the parts of his face needed for the implementation of basic coaching functions, seeing and talking, is surely the most appropriate remedy to Guardiola inflicting injuries on himself.
Guardiola wearing a balaclava will also be quite on brand with the football world’s perception of Manchester City in view of the 115 charges leveled against them for breaching the Premier League’s financial rules.
As the face of the club, therefore, it is only fitting that Guardiola, while saving himself from himself, also dresses in a manner that reflects the actions of an institution that has schemed its way to success.
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